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I'm starting to think that my plan to get away with shoplifting by blaming it on my 6-month-old baby might be less than iron-clad.

The Newburyport Daily News reports that after being caught speeding in November, Haverhill man Dennis Sayers attempted to fight the $105 ticket by claiming that the officer who clocked him going 40 mph in 30 mph zone was actually reading a deer:

During Sayers’ questioning of ticket writer officer Royster Johnson, he mentioned that he was traveling as fast as 51 mph before being pulled over. Sayers asked the veteran law enforcement official if he was 100 percent sure his radar device captured Sayers’ speed or the speed of a deer that could have been in the vicinity. 

The courtroom was giggling when Judge Peter Doyle asked Sayers, “You’re not contending the radar picked up the deer?”

Sayers maintained that anything was possible. Yeah, sure, it could have been the deer. Likewise, how you can say I stole a pair of shoes when my baby was with me the whole time and seems just as interested in Frye boots as I am? He is extremely grabby and leather is probably very soothing on teething gums. 

Anyway, the judge ruled in favor of the West Newbury Police, and the original fine was upheld.